Curses and Kisses
by Phillippa of the Phoenix
Summary: She’s a doctor’s daughter under a spell of a queen. He’s a prince with the worst luck of all. Even with the help of two fairies and the friendship of six giants and a dog, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty hook up?
1. Beginnings

Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: Beginnings

Once upon a time, or perhaps twice, in the country called Mahaska, there was a beautiful queen named Raven Black and a handsome king named Pitch. They lived with their daughter, Princess Midnight, in a town called Kamas. Princess Midnight was jealous of Queen Raven because everyone fawned over her; Queen Raven was jealous of her daughter because she was so beautiful. King Pitch was old and dying; Queen Raven practically ran the kingdom. The family ties were more like knots.

Princess Midnight decided she was going to 'get' her mother. She had read this in a book once -- she was always reading and never actually doing things. This may have started all her problems in the first place. She tricked Raven into coming into her room and placed her dog, Prudence, right by the door. When Raven flew into Midnight's room, Prudence thought she was a prowler. Prudence jumped on Raven and attacked her. Midnight screamed, but inside, she was smiling evilly. It was all in her plan. A guard named Norbert ran to Midnight's room.

"Princess Midnight, what has happened?" cried Norbert.

Princess Midnight pretended to faint.

The guard Norbert hardly noticed the lump on the floor. In fact, he thought it was a servant. Than he looked at her clothes and her crown and cried, "The queen! The queen! The queen is . . . the queen is dead!" Norbert was on the floor with hysterics when King Pitch and Dr. Royal came into the room.

Princess Midnight thought, _Perfect. _Then the king saw Queen Raven, and with his 'condition,' he collapsed on the floor. Unfortunately for the princess, he fell on top of her, and knocked the air out of her. When Dr. Royal saw four people on the ground, he fainted, too. A servant named Mera, whose father was a doctor, came into the room next. Mera did not faint. She calmly checked the king, the doctor and the princess. Then she came to the queen, with Prudence at her heels.

"Prudence, Prudence, what have you done?" cried Mera. "Killed the queen, I think!" Mera was so full of anger; she almost hit Prudence over the head. Then, she looked into the poor dog's eyes. "Though, I do believe it is not your fault." She patted her head instead. "Let's see what we can do with her." For something definitely had to be done with her.

Mera was a strong girl of 19, strong enough to carry the queen to a wheelbarrow (with Prudence, once again, at her heels). She set out, with Prudence at her side, to journey through the Golden Forest, to the village of Smoke-Stack, where her father lived. By the time Mera was half-way through the Golden Forest, it grew very, very,** very** dark. She could hardly see. She navigated as well as she could, but ended up going away from both the castle and Smoke-Stack. Finally, she came to a large, large house she had never seen before.

If Mera had been any less sensible, she might have started to cry, sob, and wallow in self-pity. Thank goodness she was not. However, she was very cold, very lost, and very tired. She furrowed her eyebrows and thought aloud, "The house has no lights on. Everyone is asleep. I should not wake anybody (yawn) up. I think I'll (yawn) just sleep (yawn) right (yawn) here (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn)." She sat down sleepily under a large tree and Prudence snuggled beside her.

When she woke up, she was very warm. 'Oh,' she thought, 'what a wonderful dream I am having! I shall try to stay asleep for a very long time.' However, she soon felt the need to get up. She very slowly opened her eyes, and then quickly shut them again. 'I am still dreaming. . .' Mera thought, quite shocked indeed. '. . . for there are six giants in this room with me, and I am inside!'

As she lie there counting to 1009, (for her mother had always told her that if there is something bad going on around you, simply close your eyes, count to 1009 and when you open your eyes, it will be gone or stopped) (she did not, you see, get her sensibility from her mother) she heard a whimper and felt a cold nose nuzzle her hand. She peeped open her eyes and saw a yellow-furred animal with big brown eyes. "Prudence!" she whispered, loudly.

One of the six giants looked over at the bed. The giant saw Mera and beamed. Mera was rather plain. She had plain straight brown hair and a regular face, which you would never have looked at twice. Her eyes were plain brown, too. The giant promptly walked over to Mera.

"Hello, little girl. So, you are awake." The giant, who was really a giantess, sat on the bed. "I am Fa-sud-ig Wa-jif. You may call me Fa-sud. These are my brothers, Qa-ja-ci, Aifii, Sa-jawi, Da-jooa, and Wa-kod-if Wa-jif. Who are you, my little friend?" Fa-sud-ig's long blonde hair moved as she spoke and her green eyes sparkled. The giantess was very beautiful and very friendly.

"I -- I am Mera Wuos, the doctor's daughter. Where am I? Where is -- did you take -- in a wagon -- there was someone else -- very important -- in a wagon -- did you take -- did you see -- did you?" Mera was talking in this choppy way because she had never seen a giant before, and she was thoroughly freaked out. You and I would be too, I suppose, although it is highly unlikely you and I will ever know, since it is also highly unlikely we will ever meet one.

"Oh, perhaps you mean. . ." Fa-sud drew a curtain back that showed Queen Raven. ". . . your friend?"

"Oh!" cried Mera. "It is -- she is not -- I hardly know her -- not really a friend -- but in a way -- yes, a friend, I suppose -- but is she all right -- if she is not -- oh, what will happen if she is not?"

Fa-sud laughed. "My brother Qa-ja-ci is a doctor. He says she has simply fainted -- gone unconscious from shock -- and she will be all right in a few hours."

"Will she -- just fainted? That is good -- all right in a few days or so. Qa-ja-ci? Perhaps we can talk -- perhaps he knows -- do you know where the city is? Smoke-Stack, it is called -- am I still in the Golden Forest? I'm not sure how long I walked -- I don't remember hardly anything -- what is the date?"

Fa-sud laughed again. "You have a funny way of talking! Where did you say you came from, Stoke-Smack?"

"No! No, no, no, no! Not Stoke-Smack! Smoke-Stack!" cried Mera.

"Oh!" Fa-sud laughed again. "Stoke-Smack is pretty silly. Smoke-Stack sounds a lot better. I have never heard of it. I hope you are not too far from home. However, I was never very good at geography. Aifii, now he knows how to read a map! Perhaps he knows where Smoke-Stack is."

"Something curious -- why do your brothers -- they just stand there -- why don't they talk?" asked Mera. She was getting more use to the giants.

"My brothers! Why, they only speak Odaduh, the language of the giants. I am the only one who can speak your language in this house. Well, except Wa-kod-if, the youngest. He is too shy to talk to any strangers, least of all Little People. So," continued Fa-sud. "I am the only one who can talk to you." Fa-sud-ig stood and walked to her brothers. She addressed a man with brown hair and blue eyes. Mera thought he was probably Aifii. She was right.

"Aifii, pod raquem od gaw Smoke-Stack. Fa pao jessim pa lar riti pep od?" said Fa-sud.

Aifii looked very thoughtful. "Rizz. . ." he said. "Opomelo tiquiwnit pebizom pae Smoke-Stack amvi, niro famp lar og pep od op." He looked at Mera. "Op red bitu get ereu."

Mera sighed. "I wish I knew what they were saying," she whispered to Prudence. "Then I could talk to Aifii and Qa-ja-ci without troubling Fa-sud." Then she listened again. Aifii was talking.

"Odissadi og di jefe jatdi, di vaiz hip piti. . ."

Fa-sud sighed. "Pep ramp rat. Di jed ma jatdi."

"Sorry, Fa-sud, but I just don't see how we can make it work."

"'Tis no use. I cannot understand a word they say." Mera looked at Prudence. "I wish you could speak." Then, she coughed. "Cough! Cough, cough, cough! Cough!"

Aifii looked at her and called to his younger brother. "Qa-ja-ci! Does she have a fever? Are you sure she did not catch a cold?" He said in Odaduh.

"Aifii, this is normal. If she did not have a cold, I would be worried. Did you forget who the doctor is?" Qa-ja-ci asked him.

"Did you forget who found the girl?" Aifii asked.

"Did you forget who saved the woman?" Qa-ja-ci asked.

"Did you forget who is older?" Aifii asked.

"Did you forget who is smarter?" Qa-ja-ci asked.

"Did you forget who is wiser?" Aifii asked.

"Did you both forget you are adults?" Wad-kod-if asked. "Stop arguing!"

"Did you forget-" started Qa-ja-ci.

"Did you forget there is a visitor here?" cried Fa-sud-ig. "Look!" They looked over at Mera, who was shaking. For all she knew, they could be swearing and saying 'I hate you!' and 'I'll kill you!' and 'Not if I kill you first!'.

Qa-ja-ci smiled at her, and there is comfort in a giant's smile. They were not different from people, except they are so tall.

"Fa-sud, please tell our visitor we are simply – well -- simply arguing. And not very strongly, either," said Qa-ja-ci. Mera heard:

"Fa-sud, pes elorv stewori piwl – smuler un. Adin tover toggy etter."

"Mera," said Fa-sud-ig. "Qa-ja-ci says they are arguing weakly about non-important thing."

"Oh," said Mera. She already had begun to get use to the large people and their gentle ways. "Could you -- I was wondering if maybe -- that is perhaps -- if I knew -- what is it called, Odaduh? If I knew that -- maybe I could learn that -- I knew a little from my father -- perhaps I could try to talk to your brothers?"

Fa-sud nodded slowly. "You could. I will tell Qa-ja-ci." She turned to her brother. "Hato akoo."

Qa-ja-ci looked surprised but pleased. "Lih." Mera noticed Odaduh was said very shortly. She cleared her throat.

"El, Qa-ja-ci. I nesa dyua eaco. Shasire ?" She said, very slowly. She had said. "Hello, Qa-ja-ci. I understand you are a doctor. Is this true?"

Qa-ja-ci laughed for joy. "Hoa ag! Oyier or linae?" which is "Oh! How amazing! How did you learn our language?"

"Hm -- how would I put this -- My father, who was a doctor, taught it to me. He never told me it was the language of the giants! I have just realized that I knew what you were saying!" she said in Odaduh.

"Oh! That is quite amazing! Quite!" Qa-ja-ci asked. "Your father seems very intelligent. Perhaps I know him?"

"His name is Dr. Leou Wuos. Do you recognize that?"

"No, I do not. Tell me about him." So, they conversed thus.

__

Mera lived as one of the family for many days. She soon loved all the giants and was horrified at the thought of leaving them. Qa-ja-ci told her that Raven would probably wake up soon. He told her when they were alone that it seemed Raven had a bout with the flu and was just recovering -- that was why it took so long for her to wake up. But she was all right.

"Hurrah!" said Mera. "I am happy she is all right. She is a queen, and I am sure the whole castle is worried about her. The whole town, too. Everyone loves the queen."

"Then we are happy, too," said Da-jooa. "I hope- what did you say her name was?"

"Uh -- Raven. Queen Raven."

"If Queen Raven is as kind as you say she is, I am quite happy," Da-jooa sighed. "Will you be leaving when she wakes up?"

Mera looked at the giants. "I -- I have to. The whole castle -- the whole town is worried -- I can't stay here forever."

"No, you can't," said Sa-jawi. "But, will you visit us?"

"Oh, of course. I would miss you too much if I didn't," Mera sighed. "It feels like I've been here for the longest time."

"Yes, indeed, it does." Fa-sud looked into Mera's eyes. "Never forget us, Mera."

Then was heard a rustling noise from the other bed. "Queen Raven! Oh, is she awake?"

They all rushed about her to see. She stirred and a holler went up. "Oh, she is all right! Everything will be okay." You cannot imagine how much shock the poor queen was in as she woke up! But Fa-sud and Mera talked to her, and soon she was calm.

"Hello. I am Queen Raven, and you are. . ."

"Mera. Mera Wuos. I am a servant in the castle," Mera smiled. "Are you feeling quite well?"

"Yes, but I don't understand. . . why am I in such an ugly house? You have kidnapped me! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" yelled the queen.

"You are not kidnapped. You were almost dead when this lass here tried to help you. She got lost, and we found you. My brother healed your wounds. You are in the house of six giants. We live in the Eastern Golden Forest, near Lacunose," explained Fa-sud. "If you know where that is."

"Oh!" cried the queen, quite suddenly. "Oh, how do I know you are telling the truth? That is a long ways from the castle. That child couldn't --"

"I am 19!" interjected Mera.

"-- have gone that far! I have been kidnapped! Oh! Oh! Oh, what shall I do? How will I go home? Oh, how? How! How! Hoooooooooooooooo --"

Aifii interrupted her mid-how. "Tell her to stop screaming. We aren't all going to die," he said.

Fa-sud tried to quiet Raven down. "Please, miss, please stop yelling."

Raven screamed. "OH! I WILL DIE! I WILL DIE! I WILL DIE!"

Finally, Qa-ja-ci grasped her by the shoulders and shook her until she stopped screaming. "Sorry," he said.

Raven looked at her feet, and scowled. "What ruffians."

Mera felt rage bubbling up inside her. She had risked her own life to save her, these people had rescued her, and the first thing she does is suggest they kidnapped her, go into hysterics and call them ruffians. She exploded.

"How could you be so -- so inconsiderate! You have no right, even if you are a queen, to act like a spoiled, two-year-old, uncontrolled brat that has a tantrum every time something goes wrong! You always think the worst about everybody! Everybody thinks you are so kind, and loves you, but you do not deserve it! You are the meanest person I have ever met!"

"How dare you! You are a servant! If I fire you, what will you do?"

"My father is a doctor!"

"Oh, so it wouldn't matter if I fired you?"

"No! I do not know why I ever saved you! I hate you! I wish you had never gotten well! I hope you --" Fa-sud stopped her.

"Mera, please go gather the eggs." Mera stormed out of the room, out of the house. She stormed right into a big tree. She recognized it as the same tree she had been sitting under the first night. A fog loomed over her. The queen was mean. . . she was lost. . . no one knew where she was. . . her father was probably worried to death. . . the queen was mean! Nothing seemed right. She sobbed, sliding to the floor. What would happen to her?

Pull yourself together! The other side of herself yelled at her. Sitting around crying is not going to help! So, how could she get to Smoke-Stack? Go to. . .what was it? Lacunose. Find a map-maker. Buy a map of Mahaska, get to Smoke-Stack. How to get to Lacunose? Have Aifii take her. Would Aifii take her? Yes, he would.

What would she do with Raven? Take her back to Kamas after she got the map. Maybe King Pitch would give her some money for her troubles. She placed her hand in the patch-pocket and lifted the contents to her face. 6 koabs and 144 juis, all string money. It did not even amount to 1 qhidi. All together, it was 3,500 juis short. Could she buy a map for just 6 koabs? Yeah, right. Mera remembered a map she had bought before, it cost 6 _qhidi_. She placed the money back in her patch-pocket.

"If I can't buy a map, what will I do?" She thought aloud.

Suddenly, a hovering, glowing orange sphere appeared before her. She sat against the tree, absolutely still. The sphere grew larger and larger, than touched the ground. The orange sphere disappeared, and there stood a fairy!

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	2. Fairies and Curses

Yes, I know. There are only four reviews and I said five before I update. But I'm feeling bad for the four people who really want to know what happens. NEXT TIME, though, it's going take five reviews. So if you read it and wonder why I haven't updates yet . . . REVIEW!

thanks to . . .

Aerinha -- Oops. (smacks head) Um, actually, Mera knew the language of the giants the whole time, she just didn't realize it. Like, you know, when you know about half of a language and some native speaker is rattling it off to you, and it's like a whole different language? I regress. Sorry I was not clear enough for you. I'm brilliant? Aw, shucks. And you'll just have to see what happens to our dear/very confused/evil Princess Midnight.

Arein -- yes! A fairy! This is a true, honest-to-goodness FAIRY tale.

Lollipop5 -- love the lovely handle (i.e. name). Hey, I never said it was my best work! I was only twelve, young, naïve, innocent and tended to get high off my own writing. (shrugs) Glad you enjoyed it!

Miss Piratess -- I can always depend on you to give me a nice lengthy review! Yay for giants and being completely random. If I had to chose a story that represented me the best, it'd be this one. Strange, crazy, a bit face paced and hard to understand, random, and this close to ridiculous.

Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: Fairies and Curses

It was wearing a raggedy light orange dress, and had dragonfly-like florescent orange wings. It had very long red-orange curly hair.

"Hello, Mera Wuos. You needed help? I am Egnaro Nedlog Tserof. I help all distressed people in the Golden Forest. I believe you needed. . .what was it, again?" asked Egnaro.

"A -- a map," stuttered Mera. "I need to get to the castle, and then Smoke-Stack."

"Hm," said Egnaro. "I can't think of any map fairies. There is Tsol, and Levart, but they are on vacation. There is always Suoe Nallecsim. Maybe she can help." She looked at Mera. "Excuse me, I am about to do something quite strange." She flew upwards and turned upside-down. "Ahem.

Suoe, Suoe, Suoe.

Suoe, I call upon you.

The Fairy of the last resort.

Always ready to retort.

I need help.

Fa-la-la-la-la-la

La-la-la-la-la-la

Suoe, Suoe, Suoe."

A bright pink-yellow sphere, like Egnaro's, came out of nowhere. Egnaro flew back beside Mera. Soon, a pink-yellow fairy stood before them. "Suoe at your service. You call, I come. What shall I do for you?"

"Suoe, we have a big problem. This girl needs a way to get to the Castle of Mahaska, and a city called Stoke-Smack," said Egnaro.

"Smoke-Stack," corrected Mera, with a sigh.

"A city called Smoke-Stack, I mean. Do you know where that is?" asked Egnaro.

"No. I am not very good at geography. Why don't you talk to Yhpar?" asked Suoe.

"Why, I didn't think of that. Thanks," said Egnaro.

"Yeah," said Suoe, and she disappeared.

"Hello!" yelled Egnaro. "Yhpar! Where are you?!"

The answer came as: "I am in South Whifa! Where are you?!"

"The Golden Forest! In Mahaska!" Egnaro yelled.

"I'm coming!! I will be there soon!!" came the cry. 'Soon' ended up being less than a few seconds. Yhpar was purple and yellow. She looked at Mera in surprise. "What – who is this?"

"She has lost her way. She wants to get to Stoke-Smack-"

"Smoke-Stack!" interjected Mera.

"-- and the Castle of Mahaska," said Egnaro.

"Aha. Well, Stoke-Smack,"-- a groan from Mera -- "or whatever it is called, is 650 ioques west from here," said Yhpar.

"Okay, I want to get to the castle first." Said Mera.

"Yes, yes, yes. The Castle of Mahaska is 23,000 ioks south from here. Quite a long walk for you," she told Mera.

"I've done it before," Mera said, with determination on her dirty face. "Just last night."

"My, my, my. Aren't we strong? Or at least strong-hearted?" asked Yhpar. "Well, here you are. Follow the green line to the castle, then the red line to Stoke-Smack."

"Smoke-Stack!" bellowed Mera.

"Yes, yes, yes. The lines will disappear in a week, so I advise you to get a move on. Well, good-bye, have a nice trip," said Yhpar.

"Bye. Thanks," said Egnaro.

"I hope you find Stoke-Smack!" Yhpar said, as she disappeared.

"Smoke-Stack," mumbled Mera, huffily.

"Well," said Egnaro. "Best be on your way."

"Thank you for your help," Mera said. "You are a nice fairy."

"All of us are," said Egnaro. "Except for Dekciw Hctiwatsomla. She is the only bad fairy. Stay away from The Crozly Cave! That is where she lives."

"I will. Thank you," Mera smiled. "Maybe I will see you again."

"If you ever get into any trouble, just call my name and I will come right away." Egnaro patted Mera's shoulder. "Have faith, strong-hearted one." Slowly, Egnaro disappeared.

"Well," said Mera. "Time to get Raven (shutter) and get going." She walked to the door and _creaked_ it open. Raven was sitting up in bed and drinking something. Fa-sud-ig went over to her and shut the door. "What is she drinking?" whispered Mera.

"Well, she **thinks **she's drinking hot limmon-yelo," whispered Fa-sud.

"What **is** she drinking?" whispered Mera, impatiently.

"A fairy drink called Recineb Kciuq," whispered Fa-sud-ig, slowly. "It- well- makes her nicer."

"Well. That will certainly make things a little bit easier," sighed Mera.

"Saw you talking to those fairies," Fa-sud blushed. "Heard you, too."

"Oh, that's all right. I have to take Raven to the castle. Maybe she will be more manageable now." Mera sighed and walked over to the bed.

"Oh, hello! I don't believe we have met. Who are you?" asked the queen.

"I -- uh -- am Mera Wuos. I am 19, I'm a servant at your castle," said Mera, slowly. "You fainted, and I brought you here. Actually, I wanted to get to my father, in Smoke-Stack. He's a doctor. I thought he could help you. I got lost in the Golden Forest. Aifii, one of the giants, found us under that tree. See it through the window? He brought us in, and here we are!"

"Goodness!" cried Raven. "All the things I've missed -- all the adventures that happened while I was unconscious! Ah, well, we will have many adventures on the way to the castle, won't we? To make up for that?"

"Right. Speaking of which, it is time to go," Mera said, curtly. She turned to the giants. "I'll miss you all terribly – but – but -- I promise I'll visit you- so- so, bye for now!"

Fa-sud pulled her aside. "Mera, would you mind if we kept Prudence? I've become attached to her."

"Of course. Goodbye, Pru."

"Good-bye! Good-bye! Good-bye!" yelled Raven as they started on their way away from the giants' home. The trio walked out of sight from the house. And it cannot be said Mera did not turn around a few times before they reached the Golden Forest.

"Well. Do we follow this line or that line?" asked Raven.

"What? Oh, follow the green line," said Mera, passively.

"All right, green." Raven quickly found the green path. "All right, let's go. Hello? Mera? Let's go!"

"Oh. Yes, I suppose," Mera said. She thought, _Will I ever see Fa-sud-ig again? What about Da-jooa? Or Sa-jawi? Or Aifii or Qa-ja-ci? I all ready miss Fa-sud. And what about that fairy, Egnaro? Will I ever get to thank her again?_ Then, a very** bad** (even worse than those she had been thinking) thought crept into her cranium. _What if I am lost for good? What if I never get to see Father? Or my sisters? What about Hoyv, my best friend? What will she do without me?_ Mera shook her head to shake the thoughts away.

"No?" asked Raven. "Why not? I thought everyone liked their home! What- was there something wrong with Stoke-Smack?"

"Huh? Nothing's wrong with where I come from. What?" said the confused Mera.

"I asked you if you were eager to go home to Stoke-Smack," said Raven.

"Um, a little. I have been living in **Smoke-Stack **all my life," said Mera.

"Oh."

"Are you?" asked Mera.

"Am I what?" said the queen.

"Eager to get home," answered Mera.

"Well, I guess so," said Raven.

"Did you ever live anywhere else?" asked Mera.

"Oh, yes," Raven smiled. "I'm royal by marriage. I used to live in Holly-Hock. It was a nice place, but very small. I miss my family sometimes."

"Holly-Hock? I've heard of that. I think my aunt lives there," said Mera, thoughtfully.

"Oh. Well, it's getting dark. Let's just stop here for a while." Raven pointed to a cluster of leaves. "That could be a bed for you,"-another cluster of leaves- "and that could be for me."

"Okay, I am getting a little sleepy," Mera yawned. She sat on the piled of dry dead leaves with a crunch. Heavy breathing soon escaped her mouth.

As Mera slept, something appalling was going on. Something so very appalling, it was bad. Something so very bad that it was terrible. Something so very terrible, it was horrendous. Yes, something horrendous was going on as Mera slept. It was thus: the Recineb Kciuq was slowly wearing off, and the queen was getting meaner and meaner and meaner. As the queen got meaner, the more she remembered. . .or should I say, _thought _she remembered.

"I remember," whispered Raven. "I remember that girl is my servant. I remember a big dog jumping on me. I remember being in a house with giants. I remember a big dog there." Something clicked in that wicked little brain of hers. "I remember that girl kidnapped me! I remember traveling in a wheelbarrow! I will run away from this runt of a guard and find my home! But where is the big dog now? It must have ran back to the house! I will go back and get it! It will pay! And you, I'll get you back, deary, and your big dog, too!"

"Raven?" complained Mera. "I'm trying to get to sleep. Could you be a little quieter?"

"Oh, yes. I will try, dear." Raven smiled a wicked smile to herself, for another thing in her wicked little brain clicked. "You try to get some sleep, deary, because once I am finished with you, you will never wake again!" Raven felt a maniacal laugh coming on, but she quickly suppressed it with a cough.

Raven did not sleep a wink that night, for she searched and searched in the forest for another very wicked thing. . .The Crozly Cave. She found it at about 2 AM, nestled in between two very large mountains. Consequently, the left mountain was called Chaos and the right mountain was called Disruption. Raven made it slowly up to The Crozly Cave. It had a stone door on it and there was a sign on the door. It said, "Gone to eat. Be back near dawn. Dekciw" Raven sighed in exasperation. Dekciw was gone! Her whole plan was ruined. But wait. . .Dekciw would not mind if she went through some books to find something, would she? She would put everything back; Dekciw would not even notice she had been there.

Raven slowly opened the large door. The Crozly Cave was very dark. Raven groped around the wall, trying to get to the middle of the room. "Ezalsi," she whispered. Instantly the whole cave was alit. Right in front of her was a large bookshelf, old and stone-gray. All the books were old and very thick. And when I say thick, I mean 6,000 times thicker than the normally thick book. They were colossal. Raven, being quite short, found a large stone to use as a step.

"_How To Use A Wand, Cauldrons And Cookbooks_,_ Several Spells To Kill (or at least knock unconscious)_,_ More Spells To Kill (or at least knock unconscious)_,_ Even More Spells To Kill (or at least knock unconscious)_." Raven tugged _More Spells To Kill _down to the floor. "I think it is in this one."

She searched down the table of contents. "1), A Funny Joke, 2), Sleeping Spells, 3), Cauldron Mixes, 4), Poisons, 5), More Poisons, 6), Even More Poisons, 7), New Poisons, 8), Old Poisons, 9) Flower Poisons, 10) Animal Poisons, 11), Humorous Poisons, 12), Grave Poisons, 13), Another Funny Joke. Hm. I think it is in Sleeping Spells. That's on page 54,679,524. Raven quickly (well, as quickly as you can with a book 6,000 times thicker than average thick books) flipped to that page. Another table of contents met her.

"Ugh. Let's see, Sleep for a day, Sleep for a week, Sleep for a month, Sleep for a thousand, million decades, Sleep for forever, Sleep until someone kisses them, Sleep until a frog kisses them, Sleep until royalty disguised as a frog until it kisses a sleeping servant kisses them, or Sleep until people land on the moon. I think I will go with Sleep until royalty disguised as a frog until it kisses a sleeping servant kisses them. It's on page 34,958,304,958."

She flipped to that page, where it said: Drop daisies over her while she is asleep, pull off her left shoe and put it on your head, stick your left thump in your right ear and say, 'Ab-kedefgey-jekel-monop-ker-stuwertzes.' three times. Then stomp your right foot and say 'So there!' Bow four times and the victim will be snoring in about 2 minutes. Raven copied it on a piece of paper. "Mera, prepare to sleep!"

She ran as fast as she could away from The Crozly Cave. Raven picked a bunch of daisies on the way. She could hardly wait until she got to Mera.

Raven was getting nervous. She was having second thoughts about the spell. Not because it was bad, but because it was not all together clear. _How will I know if it works?_ She thought. _What if I think it works, but it really does not? Then what will I do? _She was worried so much, she walked right into a tree. She was there so soon, she gasped when she saw Mera sleeping in the pile of leaves. Dawn was breaking, she had to do it fast.

She scattered the daisies all over her, then pulled on Mera's left brown peasant shoe and placed it on her head. Raven was so nervous about the spell, she almost forgot the words she was supposed to say. Then she remembered she had written them down. She pulled out the scrap of paper, stuck her thumb in her ear and read in a wavering voice. "Ab-kedefgey-jekel-monop-ker-stuwertzes. Ab-kedefgey-jekel-monop-ker-stuwertzes. Ab-kedefgey-jekel-monop-ker-stuwertzes."

She stomped her foot and yelled "So there!" She bowed four times. The sun shone in her eyes, and she wondered worriedly if the spell had worked. She decided she did not want to stay around to find out. She dropped Mera's peasant shoe and ran from that spot quicker than you can say, 'Bad queen!' She was not sure where she was going, but she wanted to get out. She ran into the same tree again, which was bad for Raven, but even worse for the tree.

Meanwhile, Mera was still asleep. The brilliant light from the sun filled the whole forest. Everything was coming to life. . .except for Mera. She was still asleep. The spell had worked, after all.

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	3. Frog Princes and Girls

Excellent! Five reviews this time! I am giddy!

thanks to. . .

Aerinha -- Yeah, the language I made by my own little self. And my stories are _never_ goofy. Ever.

Miss Piratess -- Don't worry, I still thing you're intelligent, even when you don't sound it.

mythicalmemory -- It has loads of imagination because I had no life. Basically.

Lulai -- Noooo, it will still only be one, but I'll love you a lot! And thanks for what you said about me being funny. . .very encouraging. Every morning I get up and look in the mirror and repeat to myself, "I _am_ funny. I _am_ funny."

rainkisser -- Hey! Your reviews are the most entertaining EVER. Just thought you'd like to know. Anyways. I tried to give Raven a turtle sundae, but she kind of. . .hates me. Probably because I made her the bad person. . .bummer. And thanks for the bagel. It was delicious, even though it wasn't onion. And if you want one, I asked Suoe, and she said that the fairy is back from vacation but has laryngitis. Sorry, Mia.

Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: (Frog) Princes and Girls

Dekciw walked up to her door. She sighed happily. She had had such a nice time eating at With Which Witch?, she had not even cast a spell on the waitress. This had been definitely a good day.

There had been that prince. What was his name. . .Neon? Menon, that was it. Prince Menon of Nowhere. He had walked right into her, so she cast a spell on him. Turned him into a frog until he kissed a sleeping servant. Dekciw always thought that a prince would never kiss a lowly servant- even if she was asleep! She was probably right, but there are exceptions, you know. There are always exceptions. . .

* * *

Prince Menon Rikiliy of Nowhere sighed. He had only been a frog an hour and he was all ready really, really bored. He had eaten his share of flies, and he had tried to entertain himself by jumping back and forth across the pond on the lily pads. 

He had also found, rather disappointingly, that there was not even another frog to talk to -- or at least look at. He had not been very shocked when he was turned into a frog. It figures, he had tried to say, but all that came out was a croak. He cleared his throat and in a very froggy voice it came out. "It figures."

Menon was a right handsome lad, when he was a lad. He had untidy blonde hair and blue eyes the color of the sky right before rain clouds swarm and a storm starts brewing. He was tall.

Menon had had bad luck with every since he was born. His parents had a party, and invited 3 witches and 6 fairies to 'bless the child'. First went the fairies. The first one made him calm in terrifying situations, the second one made him handsome, the third one made him smart, and the fourth one made him love books. The fifth one made him have a good voice to sing with. Now, this may not seem like bad luck to you, and it was not, until the three impatient witches decided it was the witches' turns. The first witch, Llata Ecinton, and the second witch, Elbirrohdna Dabyllaer, and the third witch, Ytsandna Naem Nialp Tsuj, were all enemies. Elbirrohdna and Ytsandna did not like Llata because her hair was too curly. Llata and Ytsandna did not like Elbirrohdna because her hair was too straight. Elbirrohdna and Llata did not like Ytsandna because her hair was too perfect and she had four names instead of two. They all decided to outdo each other, but Llata could not think of anything more well to give him.

She was awfully mad at the King and Queen for inviting the other witches, in addition, so she said, "Menon will be a prince of Nowhere -- he will have no place to reign."

Elbirrohdna was mad at them, too. She said, "He will be cursed. Every witch who sees him will be annoyed with him and cast a spell on him."

Do I need to tell you how mad Ytsandna was? "He will have bad luck where ever he goes." Then, the three witches, still upset, left abruptly.

The sixth fairy was mad, too, because she thought it was bad enough being a prince at all, without having bad luck and no kingdom. The king and queen were angry, too. The sixth fairy said that the witches' 'gifts' would only last until he kissed the woman who he would love who would love him back. Since she felt so sorry for the poor prince, she also said that the first woman he kissed who could be in love with him would, and the same with the prince.

The king and queen were still angry, mostly because they were so embarrassed that they had messed up, so they just ignored poor Prince Menon. He ran away at only 8 years old. In Menon's lifetime, he had been cursed quite a few times. A lot of them were changing into animals: a bird, a snake, an ant, and a rabbit and once a wombat to name a few. Some of them moved him places: to a different forest, city, state, country, and twice to a different planet. (Menon is and was the only man ever to go to Pluto and back in one day. He was quite amazed to find a witch there, who promptly sent him back.)

He has been thrown into a slumber for 100 years three times, never aging any. He had lived for 320 years, and slept 300 of them. He had slept when he was 6 (at the castle, when he accidentally walked into a witch outside the castle gate), when he was 12, and when he was 17. His hair still grew while he was asleep and my, oh, my, you do NOT want to see a six year old with a mustache and a beard that is a longer size than HE is. Yuck!

So, now he was a frog. He jumped around the lily pads for a while, then decided to stop after he fell in and was almost eaten by a catfish. Then he preferred to sit on the log, thinking. He was thinking about the end of the spell. When he found someone to love who would love him back. He was trying to picture her – beautiful red hair, captivating green eyes. . .

He closed his eyes, lost his balance again, fell again and escaped the catfish once again. He was about sick of being a frog. Actually, he was really, really, really sick of being a frog.

* * *

All the giants were yelling and screaming. Mera had not been found. They had not managed to find her, but they had managed to wake up their neighbors four times and lose Prudence twice. It seemed hopeless. 

Qa-ja-ci sighed. "Please. It's almost dawn, let's go back, Fa-sud. Please, please. I'm worn out."

"Me, too," Aifii puffed. "I know she is our friend, but I think she will do okay on her own."

Sa-jawi nodded. "C'mon, sis. It's impossible. It really is. We'll never find her."

Fa-sud turned to face the trio. "Fine," She spat out angrily. "Fine, then, you just go back. We will be out here if you need us."

They looked at Da-jooa and Wa-kod-if expectantly. Wa-kod-if looked down at his shoes. Da-jooa started yelling again. "Mera! Hello! Are you there, Mera?"

Qa-ja-ci looked at Aifii, who looked at Sa-jawi, who looked at Fa-sud. "Well," Qa-ja-ci said, slowly, "I guess we'll be going, then, right?"

Sa-jawi nodded in agreement. "Time to go. Time to sleep." Aifii murmured to concur.

"Well," Fa-sud said huffily. "When we find her dead six hours from now, we'll let you know."

Qa-ja-ci snorted loudly. "Dead? Fa-sud, seriously."

"I am serious!" she bemoaned. "She really could be dead! You know how cold it gets at night. She could freeze to death. She could! She could! She could!"

"Calm yourself. We have been out here all night. Are we frozen? Are we dead?" asked Aifii.

"No-o-o, but we were walking around. We were keeping ourselves warm. She could've died! She could've! You know she could've!"

"Sister. I have one question. Why do you want so badly to will this friend of yours into the other realm? Wouldn't you rather will her alive?"

This question left Fa-sud speechless. And that's something that does not happen very often.

* * *

Back in the castle, it was chaotic. They had found King Pitch, Dr. Royal, and Princess Midnight and had gone into shock. (Norbert, the guard, had not really freaked them out. It was not like he was royalty.) They were even more shocked when they did not find Queen Raven. Thankfully, no one had seen Mera leave. But they put out 'Have you seen our gallant queen?' and 'Find Raven!' posters and it was all over the news. 

'Queen is Lost', 'Where is Raven?', and 'Country and Castle in Total Shock!' covered the Mahaska Gazette's headlines. It became a tool of gossips. There was even one rumor going around that the whole royal family was dead and the people ruling were really evil impostors from Okapi, their arch country. Indeed, everyone was wondering. Where was the queen?

* * *

It so happened that the queen was still in the Golden Forest. She was lost. For a good reason, too. She had never actually walked outside of the castle grounds and her old hometown of Holly-Hock. 

"Well, I have to find someone who can help. Hm. Who is a witch who will help me out of this mess? I know! Llata! She'll help me! We were in witch-school together!" So Raven set out to find Llata, who, unbeknownst to her, was off on Pluto, visiting her distant aunt. She was going to be searching for a really long time.

* * *

Prince Menon (the frog prince) was hopping around the forest. He knew he had to go kiss a sleeping servant, but he was a little worried. What if he found someone asleep, and kissed her, and she was not a servant? What if she was a witch? If Menon was still a human, he would be getting goose-bumps. She might just kill him. Or she might make him sleep for 100 years again. (which he hoped she would not, because he had just slept for 100 years when he was 17, and it was not very exciting. Menon always liked excitement.) 

He heard some noise. _Could it be a sleeping servant?,_ he thought hopefully and frankly, quite sillily, hopping towards the noise.

"Joulasid Domina Poola Sanks!" cried the witch. No such luck. He looked at himself to assess the damage. _Just great_, he thought. _Now I am a pink frog.

* * *

_Mera was still asleep. She was dreaming. In her dream, everyone was at a party. She walked around, but nobody seemed to notice her. Finally, she saw that there was somebody speaking to the crowd on a small stand. It was Queen Raven.

"Yes, my loyal subjects, I am finally back. I was kidnapped--" (gasp from crowd) "-- by six giants and a traitor --" (another gasp) "-- who as I speak is standing in our midst!" (Very large gasp)

"Who?" The crowd yelled. "Tell us who, so we may kill them!" Mera started to run.

"Don't let her get away! There she goes! Catch her! Catch her!" She heard Raven screech. Mera ran, ran, ran into a great darkness. She almost stopped, but heard 'Catch her! Kill her!' and ran even harder. Then she was falling. Falling down, down, down . . .

* * *

Time wore on, like an old sweater that you can never get rid of, no matter how you try. Two whole years went by. Raven was lost for good. She had found Llata on Pluto (do not ask how, she did not even know) and loved it so much she decided to stay there forever. Back on Earth, Menon hopped slowly, looking left and right for a sleeping servant. He still had not stopped looking for one. There was nothing else he could do. He saw trees. He saw more trees. He saw trees wherever he looked. He was not even sure if he was going in circles, because all the trees were the same. He was tired. Not to mention really, really bored. 

_I wonder_, he thought, _what frogs eat besides insects?_ Something in Menon said 'insects' and Menon sighed._ Does this forest even have any more insects? I am uncommonly hungry._ Suddenly, Menon heard the buzz of a fly in his ear. _Lunch!

* * *

_Mera was dreaming another dream. This dream was a lot different, but still very, very strange. She was riding on a unicorn, something she had never done, but she was riding it really, really well. It felt good to have wind in your hair. She had heard about unicorns, but had never seen one. It was magnificent.

The unicorn was running through a forest. For the first time, Mera realized she was riding with someone else. A man, riding another unicorn. He was very handsome, and he looked nice. Mera did not feel uncomfortable with him, which is what she usually felt around handsome men. They had reached a castle, and he was getting off his horse. Mera followed in suit. They walked into the castle. The man kissed her on the cheek and left her. Then, a lot of servants came up to her and dragged her into a room that read 'Princess Mera'. They were doing her hair and dressing her and when she looked into the mirror, Mera felt shivers go up and down her back. Her brown hair was long and curly and had been combed until it was soft as silk. It was put up in the most beautiful way. Her brown eyes sparkled gaily. She was wearing a silvery dress, velvety and smooth to the touch. It was covered in diamonds. Mera wondered, Could that truly be me? Is that me -- under all the hair and diamonds and dress?

* * *

Menon gobbled the fly up quickly. It was good, but he was still very, very hungry. He heard more buzzing, and there was another fly. He thought he heard a teeny tiny sob. Was the fly really crying? He thought he heard a little voice. 

"What?" he said. "Did you say something?" He hopped towards the fly.

"Yes, I did!" cried the little fly. "You just ate my best friend!"

"Who are you!?" cried Menon.

"I'm Kokie, you big meanie!" Kokie yelled, flying at him.

"Whoa, whoa, wait! I'm sorry I ate. . ."

"Bokie."

". . .Bokie, but I was really, really hungry."

She rolled her hundreds of eyes. "Oh, that excuses it."

"I'm sorry, but I've only been a frog for a little bit of my life!"

Kokie rolled her eyes again. "Oh, what were you before? A human?"

"Yes," said Menon, and Kokie almost fainted.

"What?" Kokie stabled herself. "No way! So was I!"

It was Menon's turn to almost faint. "What!?"

"I sort of upset a witch. That was 2 years ago. I am 14 now," Kokie sighed. "The witch told me I would be a fly until 5 minutes after a prince talks to me without knowing who I am. Like that'll ever happen."

Menon wondered if he should tell Kokie he was a prince. Then, he thought that maybe he would not count (being a prince of nowhere). He just said, "My name is Menon. Uh. . .exactly who are you?"

Kokie paused, unsure what he meant. "Oh! Nothing, really. The prince just cannot know my name. It's not like I'm anybody special. Just a common girl."

"So. . .seen any sleeping servants lately?" asked Menon.

Kokie laughed. "No, but I'll help you look for one." Just then, Kokie started to glow.

There was a big flash, then before the pink frog lay a young girl, with dirty hair that was probably blonde when clean, and skinny arms and legs and no clothes. Menon quickly turned around. He could hear Kokie getting up. "I'm a person!" she said. "Don't tell me. . .you're a prince!" She looked at herself and blushed. "You stay right there, I'll be back with some sort of clothes."

Kokie found an old, big, brown, ragged giant man's coat (which Qa-ja-ci had taken off, intending to get it back) and put it on. She also found a small creek (called Kokie Creek by the animals of the Golden Forest, who like to name everything) to bathe and wash in. When Kokie came back, they both had questions for each other.

"You first," said Menon (even though he had not been given he gift of kindness, he was very courteous (and affectionate)).

"Well, if you are a prince, why didn't you tell me?" Kokie inquired.

"I have no place to reign, so I didn't know if I would count," replied the prince.

"Oh. What's you question?" she returned.

"Uh -- was Bokie a human, too?" he said, slowly.

Kokie laughed. "No. He was just a fly. Why did you ask me if I had seen a sleeping servant?"

"I'm going to be a frog until I find one," Menon said.

"Oh, well, since I got nothing better to do, I guess I'll help you look for it." The pink frog jumped into Kokie's outstretched hand. (Some girls might be grossed out by a slimy frog, but Kokie wasn't a sissy like some girls.) "Let's go!"

Hey! I just figured out how to do the line thingy! Very exciting. Don't forget -- five reviews!

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	4. Meetings and Search Parties

Woooow! Six reviews this time! I am positively faint from happiness!

Thanks to. . .

Aerinha – Yeah, real bummer. . .perhaps pink frogs are cute. I wasn't aware that _green_ frogs were cute. . .

Dragonblade Goddess – I like your screenname. Squee away

Miss Piratess – Yes, I made it as random as possible. Knew you would like it. I hate being bored. . .it's so boring. . .

mythicalmemory – Reading rocks! Yay! I so call all the Jane Austen books!

rainkisser – Hence, why the title of the story is. . .Curses and Kisses. The kisses will come in later, though I think there are only three. . .or four. . .or five. . .I really have no idea, as you can tell.

Sirenic Griffin – I'm glad you like it and sorry your server was such a pain. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to think you would do all that just to read something I had written. Basically, the point of this story is to make you laugh. The orange fairy (named Egnaro, which is orange backwards, in case that helps you remember) did say she was a fairy. . .and then I called her a witch. . .oh dear. I just don't know how to remedy this. Here, have a cookie since you were so clever as to find a mistake.

Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: Meetings and Search Parties

At the castle of Mahaska, something was going on that was not at all pleasant. Well, it led to a rather pleasant thing, but it itself was not a pleasant thing. King Pitch, who was old and sick to begin with, had caught a worse disease and was so close to dying, Princess Midnight was all ready being called Queen Midnight. The whole of Mahaska was glad, because they realized how bad Raven had been. (After Raven had left, Midnight realized how big a responsibility being queen was, so she stopped reading books all the time and started doing things - and became quite a well-rounded young lady, I am told.) The last I had heard about it, Midnight was having her third child, and all the Mahaskens were absolutely overjoyed.

Kokie and Menon lived happily together for the next three years. They reserved Saturday to look for sleeping servants for the first year, but after a while, Menon was pretty happy being a frog. The third year, something happened to everybody, but that comes later.

Kokie, now 17, was very pretty. Menon, 26, was getting to be a very old frog. He was not pink anymore, which thoroughly thrilled him. Kokie did not wear the big coat anymore, she killed a few animals and shaved a few skins, and had quite a handsome wardrobe. Kokie was looking around for somebody to marry her, but she did not find anyone. She was the happiest she had ever been, living with the greatest older brother she never had, even if he was a frog.

Kokie and Menon were out for their evening stroll. It was exactly 5 years ago that night that Menon had been turned into a frog. Menon saw a fly and after asking it if it was really a person (it wasn't) ate it. Kokie picked an apple to eat.

"Kokie?" Menon said. "Do you think I could be stuck a frog for good?"

"May-be," she said slowly. "But I bet you'll find a servant **some**day."

"And if I **do** find one, how can I kiss her? I'm a frog!" yelled Menon.

"I know," sighed Kokie. She had heard this before.

"I suppose I could just lick her. Yuck! I wonder if that will qualify," Menon said.

Kokie knew he meant about the end of the curse. "Well, if it doesn't, you can just kiss her again."

On the other side of the forest, Fa-sud and Prudence were also going on a walk.

"It's been a long time since Mera left. A long time. I wonder why she never came back. She sounded like she wanted to come back, don't you think so, Pru?" Fa-sud-ig mused.

"Woof, woof, yip, yip, yip, bark," Prudence stated.

"Oh, I guess you're right."

"Yip, woof, woof. Bark, bark, yip, bark, woof, woof, snap!" She retorted.

"Well, I'm sorry! I didn't even mean it like that!" Fa-sud said.

"Yip! Growl, snap!" Prudence yelled.

"Oh, stop your grouching. I didn't even say that."

"Yip, woof, yip," she finally said.

"Good."

On the other side of the universe, Yhpar was helping out an unfortunate fairy who had lost her way from Andromeda to the Milky Way. Yhpar looked at the space-map.

"Yes, perhaps," she was saying. "I do believe you went left there when you should have went straight."

"No, no, I **did** go straight there," the fairy said.

"Oh. Well, well, well, I think I see the problem. Did you turn there?" she asked.

"No," the fairy said timidly.

"Aha! You were supposed to turn left there," Yhpar said confidently.

"Oh, I see that now."

"Of course you do." Yhpar had heard **that** line **at least** 1,002 times.

"Thanks." The fairy took the map back and flew away. Yhpar disappeared, she hated flying.

Back on the this side of the universe, Kokie and Menon were still out on their walk.

"Menon," Kokie said. "I think it's time I got married."

"Oh?" Menon smiled. "Got anyone in particular in mind?"

"Oh!" complained Kokie. "You **never** take me seriously."

"I'm sorry," Menon said, honestly.

"I am 18, you know!" cried Kokie.

"17," Menon corrected.

"17 and 10 months," Kokie corrected. "**Any**way, it really is time for me to get married."

"Really, Koke. Who are you going to marry?" Menon reasoned. "There's nobody around here."

On the other side of the forest, Fa-sud was reasoning, too.

"After all, it's been five years. Five years is a long time, Pru. Wa-kod-if was 13, now he's 18! And I'm 40. Wow, time just flies."

"Woof, woof, yip," Pru said.

"Right. You're 6 years old now."

"Yip, yip, bark. Woof, yip, bark," Prudence pointed out.

"Right. Mera is probably gone by now," Fa-sud-ig sighed. "It's too bad. If she were still alive, she would be 24. Wow, that seems pretty old. I've been thinking Wa-kod-if should get married. Why, I had a few proposals by the time I was 15. But who is available? I haven't seen anybody living here."

"Yip, woof, woof, woof, woof, yip, yip, yip, woof, bark," Pru said nonchalantly.

Fa-sud glared at the dog. "What do you mean, 'except that girl and a frog?'"

"Yip! Woof, yip, bark, yip. Bark, bark, yip, bark? Snap, yip, growl," Prudence explained.

"Oh. Do you remember where they lived?" Fa-sud asked eagerly.

"Bark! Yip, yip, yip!" Pru trotted down a path Fa-sud had never explored.

"Okay. . ." Fa-sud drawled. "I guess I'll trust you." Fa-sud trotted after her. She was looking at a big old tree when she realized she didn't see Pru anywhere. She started running, and ran straight into. . .Kokie and Menon!

"Oh, my, the girl and the frog!" cried Fa-sud.

"Oh, my, another person!" cried Kokie.

"Oh, my, a giant!" cried Menon.

"Who are you?" asked Kokie. "What are you doing here?"

"**Me**?" asked Fa-sud-ig. "What are **you** doing here?"

"I live here!" cried Kokie.

"So do I!" cried Fa-sud-ig.

"What?" cried Menon. "Where were you before!"

"What?" shrieked Fa-sud. "A frog that talks!"

"Okay, okay. Let's all be calm, **please**." Kokie cleared her throat. "I'm Kokie, and this is Menon. He's really a prince under a spell."

"Oh. How do you do, Kokie?" They shook hands. "I am Fa-sud-ig Wa-jif."

"Fasu-dig Waj-if?" asked Kokie.

"No. Fa. . .sud. . .ig. Wa. . .jif."

"Ah. Fa-sud-ig Waj-if."

"Wa-jif."

"That's what I said, Waj-if."

Fa-sud sighed. At least she said her first name right. "You can call me Fa-sud if you want. I'm looking for a big, yellow dog, who has an attitude." Far off, she heard the retort she wanted to hear.

"Yip, bark, woof, yip, yip, 'woof-woof-snarl'!"

"If you'll excuse me. . ." said Fa-sud, starting to leave.

"Wait. . ." Kokie called after her. _Maybe she has a son!_ "I want to come with you. Ah, **we** want to, I mean."

"We do?" asked the clueless frog. Kokie nodded. Menon figured she had some sort of plan. "Oh, right, now I remember."

So, Kokie, Fa-sud and Menon started walking towards Prudence's bark. When they found her, they started back to Fa-sud's house, she leading the way.

"Do you live alone?" asked Kokie. "Or do you have a family? A husband? Children?"

"Sadly, I never got married, but I live with one older brother and one younger brother. My brothers Aifii, Sa-jawi, and Da-jooa have left home to get married." Fa-sud explained.

"Oh." Kokie smiled. _One left._ "What are their names and ages?"

"Qa-ja-ci is 43. I am 40. My youngest brother, Wa-kod-if, is 18."

A smile spread across Kokie's face.

"I'd like to meet them." Kokie smiled the whole way to Fa-sud-ig's house. She would finally marry! Providing this Wacko-diff was as kind and good-looking as - maybe even kinder and better looking (though Kokie knew that was a lot to hope for) than - his older sister.

Doctor Leou Wuos was out riding in the Golden Forest on his mare, Sierra. He was, in truth, out looking for Mera. Again. Two years ago, when she hadn't come home when she said she would, he became worried. Almost every spare minute he spent looking for her, although I must say he did not have much hope left. His other daughters, Toli, Shana, and Ruza were looking for her, too, on their horses, Maple, Aspen, and Oak. Pine, Mera's horse, was riding with Ruza and Oak, because Oak was the fastest. Toli and Shana, who were twins, went looking together, Ruza and 'Doc' both went alone.

"Toli," said Shana, giving Aspen an extra nudge. "There's a fork in the path. Which way do you want to go?"

"I'll go left," said Toli, veering Maple towards the dark path. Maple shuttered at the sight of it, but trotted forward.

"I guess I'll go straight. C'mon, girl, let's find Mera!" Shana and Aspen disappeared into the blackness. The moon would arrive soon, and when it did, they would have to go back to Smoke-Stack.

Ruza, Oak, and Pine, plodded down the hill. I should say, Oak and Pine plodded, and Ruza rode. Ruza was younger than Mera, being 22 presently. The twins were 28, and Toli was married to Koplu, the carpenter. Koplu was away on a business trip to Elephant Pass, where the philosophers of Mahaska lived. They wanted a new table and 35 chairs, plus a bed and 3 chests. Shana was betrothed, or engaged, to Gossai. Gossai was a doctor under Doc's apprenticeship. When he was a full fledged 'doc' himself, that is, in 2 years, he would marry Shana. Toli and Shana both and long brown hair and green eyes, because they were identical.

Ruza was not married, or betrothed, but she did have a suitor. That's sort of the old age equivalent to a boyfriend - to some extent. His name was Sir Bythe; he was a knight. He fell madly in love with Ruza the first time he saw her soft blonde hair and bright blue eyes, and vice-versa. They were going to be betrothed soon, as soon as Sir Bythe got the nerve – he was very, very shy.

Oak galloped at a moderate pace, and Pine was puzzled at the whereabouts of her usual mistress (though it was not the first time, Pine had just realized it. Horses are not the cleverest animal under the sun.) Her and Aspen's foal, Echo, was not coming along, either. Yes, there was something very wrong about this late-evening ride. Something very peculiar indeed. Pine whinnied to Oak (who was always more knowledgeable than she, but not by much,) "Do you understand why we are out here?"

Oak neighed back, "I think we are searching for your mistress."

"What? Did you hear that from your mistress?" Pine snorted.

"No, from Doc. He said she was 'lost' and had to be 'found,'" Oak whinnied importantly.

"Oh. Where is Echo?" Pine whinnied.

"We need to 'found' your mistress soon, and Echo doesn't go very fast." She snorted.

"I guess not," neighed Pine, sadly.

"Where did everybody go?" whinnied Echo, who did not echo anyone but was called that because she looked exactly like her mother, Pine. "How come I didn't get to come? I love to ride. Oh, where is Mummy? She left, too. She left with them. When will she come home?" Echo snorted. "I'll go find her. I'll get out of here!" She nimbly jumped over the gate and took off to find her Mummy.

She had never felt so free. She neighed and whinnied as loud as she could, "Mummy! Mummy! It's Echo! Come back! Come back home." She sped past the creek (Kokie Creek, in scrutinizing). Not very fast, indeed!

Pine heard Echo whinnying and snorted in return. Ruza and Toli heard it, too. Toli and Maple galloped towards the 'Mummy dear!' Pine tried to turn around, but Ruza saw Toli going for it, so she prodded Oak and Pine on.

Echo was still whinnying, "Come back home, Mummy."

Maple neighed softly, "Echo, it's okay. Come on, I'll take you to your mummy."

"Mummy!

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	5. Princesses and Fairies, Again

Thanks to. . .

Aerinha – I know what my rabbit would say if he could talk: "Hey, you. The one who gives me food. Got carrots? I'm hungry. I'm bored. I'm cold. Hey, where you going?"

Miss Piratess – My horse knowledge is not exactly fantastic, but I think I might be right about them. . .

mythicalmemory – No, somehow I don't think it will make any sense at all. I'm random like that. And if it makes you happy, I knew you were a girl. I haven't read Treasure Box that I remember. . .who is it by?

rainkisser – Please! Don't hurt me! Look, a new chapter and an onion bagel!

Sirenic Griffin – Of course you got a mention! I like your ideas about why Dekci is a witch and not a fairy. . .yum. Cookies. They help MY brain freezes, but it could just be my addiction to chocolate. . .

Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: Princesses and Fairies (Again)

This is where we stop talking about all the main characters and introduce six brand-new characters who will never be talked about again after this chapter: Princesses Hermosa, Belle, Mädchen, Ragazza, Meisje, and Menina. They all came from different countries. Hermosa came from Pidpod, Belle came from Udus, Mädchen came from Aufidstein, Ragazza came from Fois-gifis, Meisje came from Duas, and Menina came from Waratapasadafagahajakalazaxacavabanam, or, as everyone called it for short, Waratapas.

All these princesses were presently with the very King and Queen who were mother and father to Menon. Why, you ask? It so happens that the king's advisor, Fijipidisipigit, who happened to come from Waratapas, could see into the future. He saw that Menon would break the spell very soon, so they arranged to have all these princesses come so they could choose who would marry Menon and become Princess of Goho, where Menon was from. (They forgot he and the first girl he kissed would be in love with each other and so they would have to marry, because they were old and selfish.)

So, they tested each one to see which one Menon would marry. Hermosa went first, then Belle, then Mädchen, etc. There were many tests put together to form the whole test.

HERMOSA'S TESTS

Hermosa passed the first test. She waited until everyone sat down before seating herself. She did not even really think about it. It was a habit.

Hermosa passed her second test. She said please and thank you and your welcome and bless you and excuse me and called everyone sir and ma'am.

Hermosa failed her third test. She did not like salted, peppered, pickled brussel sprout roots covered with melted Gohoin orange and purple cheese and thick Gohoin pork gravy. That was the king and queen's favorite food.

Hermosa passed her forth test. She felt the pea under the 100 mattresses. She hated peas. She could smell it, and so knowing it was there, she felt it.

BELLE'S TESTS

Belle passed the first test. She waited until everyone sat down before seating herself. She really had a spot on her dress that she had to rub off. By the time she was done, everyone else was sitting.

Belle failed her second test. She did not say please when she wanted something, thank you when she got something, you are welcome when someone said thank you, bless you when someone sneezed or coughed, or excuse me when she sneezed or coughed, and she never once called anyone sir or ma'am.

Belle aced her third test. She actually loved salted, peppered, pickled brussel sprout roots covered with Gohoin orange and purple cheese and butter sauce and thick Gohoin pork gravy. It's the honest truth.

Belle failed her forth test. She did not feel the pea because she slept like a rock. Well, really, she slept **on **a rock. She could not get up on top of the 100 mattress bed, so she slept on the floor.

If you really want to hear the details for the rest of the girls, ask them. Mädchen passed one and failed three. Ragazza aced all of them beautifully and with a great flourish, Meisje failed them all with a great flourish. Menina failed two and passed two. The king and queen said 'thank you' to Hermosa, Belle, Mädchen, Meisje, and Menina. They said 'call your parents and tell them you are going to be married' to Ragazza.

Hermosa whispered something to Belle, who whispered back and then whispered to Meisje, and they all whispered in a little group while Ragazza, glowing with pleasure, called up her parents on the fonietele.

Menina said, "Yes, let's do it!"

Meisje said, "Tonight if we can!"

Belle said, "We will get our revenge!"

Hermosa sighed, "It will be sweet!"

Mädchen laughed maniacally. It would seem strange that Ragazza did not hear any of this, but she was quite engrossed as it was in telling her parents every single little detail.

As the night wore on, the king and queen of Goho were trying very hard to get the other five princesses home. Of course, the other five princesses were sick with the raging fever and measles and the flu and cholera all at once. So, of course, they could not possibly go home. The princesses all went into separate rooms in the sick hall. At 11:00, Belle sneaked out of her room and knocked on one, two, three, four doors, hissing, "Quick! Go! Go!"

The four slim and one quite plump shadowy figures crept along the hallways to Ragazza's door. Hermosa and Menina stood guard as Mädchen opened the door and she, Belle, and Meisje tip-toed into the darkness. There was a muffled scream, and Meisje and Belle carried a lump of sheets, hair and limbs and dumped it on the floor while Mädchen closed the door. The four slim, one plump, and one unconscious (and if she wasn't she would be shocked) figures crept down the cryptic hallway and disappeared into the nothingness.

* * *

Kokie and Menon were sitting in the house of Wa-jif. "So, Wacko-diff. . ." 

"Wa-kod-if. . ." corrected Wa-kod-if with a sigh.

"Oh, right, Wa-kod-if. You seeing anyone?" Kokie asked with a gulp.

"I see my family every day, and I'm looking at you right now. . ." replied Wa-kod-if, confused.

"I mean, like, dating." Sighed Kokie, rolling her eyes

"Oh, no, I haven't even had a crush yet." Said Wa-kod-if, pushing his bangs back, thinking, _she is kind of cute. . ._

"Me, neither." Said Kokie, thinking, _he is kind of cute. . .

* * *

_When Ragazza woke up, her side hurt and her head hurt, and she had no idea where she could be. Then she remembered the night before, and wondered what had happened since the sort of plump girl had knocked her out. She opened her eyes and it was really bright.

_Oh, dear, Mother will kill me,_ she thought when she saw her 'sleeping' dress, which was so dirty you could not even see the shimmering silver dove pattern that had been there previously. _She said, 'I will let you borrow all my best dresses and here, pack all yours. Now, do not ruin any of them, I expect them to be perfectly clean. . .'_

She sat up and looked upon the world around her. It was late afternoon, Ragazza could tell (she was no dummy) and she was in the woods. She saw, in the far distance, a lake and realized she was very thirsty. She gingerly got up, shocking herself fully awake with the pain running through her legs. She limped and stumbled over to the lake (which was quite impressive, considering her shape and the distance, which was around a half a mile). Once she got there, she fell to her knees and lapped up the water.

Soaking in the sun and the scenic countryside around her, she mused, _I could run for it. After all, did I **really** want to marry a prince who is somewhere I do not know? Is that it for my life? Marry a prince and - poof- happily ever after? That sort of thing only happens in fairy tales. I like this place, and besides, I have no idea where I am. This could be any lake, anywhere. I could find a village and make up a new, normal name like Alice and maybe I will meet my lover or find out what I am good at besides winning beauty contests. I have always wanted to try painting or maybe writing. . ._

So, Ragazza, I mean Alice, moved to Dhaka. Alice discovered she had an undeniable talent for mural painting. She met a man named George, whom she fell in love with. They had sixteen children all named after colors, like Lilac, Rose, Aqua and Marine, who all grew up to be painters. If anyone ever lived happily ever after, it was surely her.

So, you may be wondering, "What happens to all those other evil princesses? Do they get their just desserts?" Well, good things come to those who wait. So, wait!

Hermosa, though her plan was quite vast, forgot a minuscule tiny thing: what the king, or indeed anyone, would think if someone just disappeared into nothingness. It so happened that the king and queen were very shallow minded, and happened to think, _Oh, pooh. Another contest. _

When they complained aloud, Hermosa piped up and said, "Oh, but couldn't you just take the second - oof!"

"Pardon me, my dear? Take the second oaf?" said King Tusury Rikily, who was a third deaf.

"I do believe that she said take the second oath." Said Queen Zemare Lolher-Rikily, who was a half deaf.

"What did you say, child?" King Tusury asked her.

Hermosa, rubbing her shin where three skinny and one plump foot had contacted, mumbled, "Nothing," and stared at the salted, peppered, pickled brussel sprout roots. She was going to say, "the second place winner," but the rest of the princesses wouldn't have it.

"Pardon me, my dear? Nothing of what?" asked Tusury, with a large bite of chicken in his mouth.

"I do believe she said puffing." Zemare said, shaking her finger at her husband. "You will have to see Dr. Pecibul about your hearing."

"Why, I don't own any earrings." Tusury replied,

"Why, of course you do. There's Symmu Earin, Hyathy Earin, their brother, and their parents. . ." Zemare trailed off.

"There aren't any ants in this castle!" yelled Tusury confidently. And so, the morning blew past. Hermosa, Belle, Meisje, Menina and Mädchen all went home disappointed. The king and queen were too busy arguing to remember their son would be freed from his spell.

* * *

Kokie and Wa-kod-if were talking like old friends. They had a lot in common. Menon was talking to Fa-sud about Mera. 

"Five years. . .that's funny. Five years ago, I was still human, and -"

Kokie interrupted Menon suddenly and joined the conversation. "I was still a fly and -"

"Mera was still alive," sighed Fa-sud, looking reminiscent.

"Yeah," said Wa-kod-if. "A lot has changed in five years."

Murmurs of agreement hopped through the small crowd. And the morning fluttered by, and they all laughed and had quite a lovely time.

* * *

Yhpar and Egnaro were having tea, and Yhpar was explaining about the lost fairy. "Another one of those blondes. Got lost from **Andromeda** to the **Milky Way**. The Milky Way! I couldn't believe it. There are some pretty pathetic people out there, Eg." 

"I won't argue with you at all! One of them call for help when a snake - a **speckled **snake - comes near them. Specks don't even have teeth! They're herbivores!" Egnaro complained, taking another sip of tea. "My, this is rich tea."

"Polla makes it that way. It's better for your health." Yhpar changed the subject back. "I swear I haven't helped a single person who had the brains to do anything but breathe."

"Oh, Yhpar, you know that it's not good to generalize. But I do agree with you. If we could educate them, make them learn, our job would be oh-so-much easier." Egnaro swallowed the rest of her tea.

"You been busy?" Yhpar questioned, filling her cup.

"No, no one's needed help in the Golden Forest since -" she paused, counting on her hands. "- since almost five years ago!"

"Wow, that's some vacation, huh? You gone anywhere?"

"We-ell. . .I did visit the future." Said Eg.

Yhpar slammed down her cup, sloshing coffee everywhere and receiving a 'not-that-again' look from poor Polla. "Oh, I have **always** wanted to do that. I just could never find the right time."

"That busy?" asked Egnaro, wiping the place that Yhpar had spilled with her napkin.

"No, that choosy," Yhpar clarified. "So, when and where did you go?"

"To 3005. The 31st century. I went and saw the new London Bridge." Said Egnaro.

"My cousin, Lufpleh, went there once, I think." Yhpar said.

"3005 or the new London Bridge?" asked Egnaro.

"3005." Yhpar called to Polla, "We are out of tea, dear."

Polla, with a very hot pitcher of tea, commented, "Why, but you do drink it quicker than a fox chasing a rabbit!"

"Well, before your vacation, who was your last helpee?" inquired Yhpar.

"Oh, oh, oh. . ." There was a quite long pause before Eg said, "Oh, yes, remember that servant girl?"

"Who wanted to go to the castle?"

"Yeah." Egnaro clinked her spoon against the table. "You know, I never looked her up. I can't remember why I didn't. All I know is I didn't."

"Oh-ho-ho-ho! Let's do it right know!"

"You have a remoc?" cried Eg, using the abbreviation for retummoc. A retummoc is a very advanced computer-like machine that has stored in its memory every single living animal in the whole universe. Fairies are not really 'magical', they are just VERY technologically advanced. That's why they thought humans were especially stupid and absolutely hated unclever fairies. They figured out how to fly and disappear while man was creating the wheel. And we are supposed to be soooooo smart! If only the fairies had left some of their technology here before they left to another galaxy in about 1800. . .well, anyway. Since the humans thought they weren't real, they had to live underground and in the shadows before they got so tired of it that they waged war against human kind and - well, that's another story.

"I just got it last summer. C'mon, c'mon, let's go." Yhpar and Eg left their hot tea and ran to the remoc.

"Okay, name, Mera Wuos."

"Spell?"

"Em-ee-are-a. Double-you-you-oh-ess."

"Gender."

"Female, obviously."

"I was just making sure. Place of birth."

"Stoke-Smack, er, uh, Snake-Stock, er, ah, well, uh. . .Smoke-Stack."

"What?"

"Stoke, ah, **Smoke**-Stack."

"Ess-em-oh-kay-ee, ess-tee-a-see-kay. Is that two words?"

"With a slash, I think."

"Well, that's it."

"What's it say, what's it say?"

"Hold on."

"Well, well, what does it say! **Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!**"

"Hold on!"

"Is it done searching?"

"**Hold on**!"

"Now is it?"

"**Just! Hold! on!**"

"Sheesh, Yhpar. You don't have to yell in my ear, you know."

"Okay, okay, it's coming. Look, look, look!"

"Yeah, that's her. Oh, no! No, not that!"

Egnaro had very good reason to say 'not that!' For this is what Mera's file stated clearly:

Mera Wuos, human being,  
24 years h.b., 48 maas g.u.h., 6 years o.o.m., 8 kals,  
File 34,234 22 2 22,407-3246 gack  
Current State: under a spell, sleeping until royalty disguised as a frog until it kisses a sleeping servant kisses them  
Current place: The Golden Forest  
Last Words Spoken: Could you be a little quieter?  
Last Member encountered: Egnaro Nedlog Tserof (fairy)  
Last Creature encountered: Queen Raven Black of Mahaska, currently of Pluto  
Picture of creature at the present moment: (here was a picture of Mera, sleeping under a lot of leaves. After all, she had been under a big tree for five years and no one had bothered to rake all of them, but, of course, the rake hadn't been invented, but the point is that she was quite hidden from view and really many people had passed by her, not realizing, of course, there was an almost living and breathing person under that huge mound of old, brown leaves.)

And that is why Eg said, "No!"

"Oh, no! No, no!" she said again. "Oh, we **have** to help her!"

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	6. When All Curses Are Defeated

Thanks to. . .

Aerinha – Hmm, I'm not sure about sequel/prequel. I don't think I could get into the same mood I was in when I wrote this. But I'm glad it made you laugh!

Miss Piratess – I _guess_ I forgive you. We all have those kind of days. How could I not have chaos? How boring is _order_! (sticks tongue out)

mythicalmemory – I'm sick, too, dang it! I'll be sure tolook for The Treasure Box at my local library.

rainkisser – Yay fairy people. Look, look, I've got another baaagel (tosses it in hopes of taming the wild rainkisser)

Sirenic Griffin – Stupid annoying computer. I'm glad there is less fuss in your life now. Welllll, if _I_ had taken the test. . .but now, I would be at home, reading. No half-points! All or nothin'! LOVE LOVE LOVE chocolate. Happy Birthday. And here's all the chocolate/lollies/jellies you could ever hope for. (smiles) (and I don't feel sorry for your Australian summer, because it is absolutely FRIGID where I am)

WARNING: Impossibly-difficult-to-pronounce names, going on tangents, general randomness and a dash of magic and romance. Prepare yourself.

Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: When All Curses Are Defeated

Yhpar nodded her head, her long hair swinging vigorously. "Okay, look, according to this, we have to find a prince that is a frog. Ooh, I wonder if the remoc can find one."

"But we don't know his name!"

"Well, there's this special thing that will search. . .here it is."

"So, what will you put on it?"

"Uh, 'prince,' 'frog,' 'in his 20s?'"

"Sounds good to me."

"Has it got anything?"

"Uh, not yet, oh, oh, oh, oh, look at that! Three files!"

"Click on 'em, Yhpar!"

"Well, let's see. Our first one is Kgofhfio;dsfsdddecxgfcbfuipg94r56."

"What? Say that again."

"Kgofhfio;dsfsdddecxgfcbfuipg94r56."

"Kago-_what_?"

"Kgofhfio;dsfsdddecxgfcbfuipg94r56 is sort of like a Kay, only for Dfguydasgtuuss."

"That's right, you were born in Deaf-Guy-Bass-Gut-Us." Egnaro thought hard. "Kay is a terribly average, common name in Mahaska. Does that mean Cargo-Fee-Odes is common in Death-Pie-Pass-Shut-Us?"

"Yeah. That's about it."

"So, that means that Bar-Gopher-Toads was born in Chef-Die-Last-Putt-Is."

"Yeah, he was. Uh, oh. It's a **she**."

"What's next?" BEEP! BOOP! VROOM! "Ooh, another person from Left-Shy-Best-Nuts."

"Egnaro! It's not Deaf-guy-bass-gut-us, Death-pie-pass-shut-us, Chef-die-last-putt-us OR Left-shy-best-nuts! **It's not even Dafguydasgutuss! _It's Dfguydasgtuuss!_"**

"Sorry."

"Oh, shucks, another girl."

"Oh, well, maybe the last one will work."

"BEEP! BOOP! VROOM-OOM-AH-SHOOM!" said the remoc.

"Are you reading that? Are you seeing that? IT WORKED! Yhpar, it's a prince who's a frog until it kisses a sleeping servant!"

"Where is it?"

"Why, my, oh, my! It's right where I met Mera!"

"How odd. Oh, Eggy, let's go NOW and somehow get him to kiss Mera."

"A frog? Kissing? Is that possible?"

"Well, actually. . ." started Yhpar and they both disappeared and talked as they went. They both hated flying.

"Um, Fa-sud?" Kokie stared out the window. "What is that?"

"What is what, dear?" Fa-sud joined her at the window. "Well, I never. . .I think I recognize. . .no, it couldn't be. . ."

"Yikes!" cried Menon. "I hope whatever it is doesn't eat frogs."

"I hope whatever it is doesn't eat meat," commented Kokie.

"I hope it's friendly," Wa-kod-if said, standing behind her.

"Come, let's go see what it wants," advised Qa-ja-ci. They all walked (or hopped, in Menon's case) outside to greet it. Actually, it was a them. Actually, it was Eg and Yhpar.

"You see," Yhpar was saying, "that's how they can kiss. Oh, my!"seeing everyone "We're here all ready."

"So we are!" cried Eggy. "There's the frog. Well, hello, giants, lady, and frog. My name is Eg, I'm a fairy." She stuck out her slim hand in greeting. "We both are."

"I'm Yhpar." They all shook hands and exchanged names.

"So. . .um, it's not everyday I have two fairies in my front yard." Fa-sud said. "You must've come here for something."

"Ah, yes, down to business." Said Egnaro. "I meant as well get to the point." She lowered herself so she was looking eye-to-eye with the frog prince. "We have a big job for you. It's not even hard. How hard would you say it is, Yphar?"

"Simple. All you have to do is kiss some girl."

"Kiss!" cried Menon.

"Kiss!" cried Kokie.

"Kiss!" cried Wa-kod-if. "Can frogs do that?"

"Yeah," said Eggy. "But I'll bet your wondering why."

"Um, yeah, I was."

"Well, this girl needs to be kissed by you- she's a sleeping servant. You kiss her twice. That's the conditions on your curse, right?" Yhpar asked.

"Well, yeah. So, she wakes up, I become human, and we all. . ."

"Live happily ever after, I suppose." Yhpar tapped her long, yellow-polished fingernails on her cheek. "She's very nice and quite pretty, really."

"Very kind, gentle. A very sweet girl, Mera," added Eggy.

Fa-sud gasped, "Mera? Mera!"

"Yes, that's right."

Fa-sud fainted right to the ground. Qa-ja-ci and Wa-kod-if picked her up carefully. Qa-ja-ci patted her cheek and said softly, "Fa-sud, Fa-sud."

"Oh, dear," said Yhpar. "That was quite sudden." She turned to Kokie and Menon. "Do you know why she did that?" Kokie shrugged her thin shoulders.

Menon stated: "Well, I think I remember a girl named Mara. . ."

"I know," said Wa-kod-if, stepping away from Qa-ja-ci and Fa-sud. "About five years ago, a girl named** Mera** came to our house with a dog that one " He pointed to Prudence, who was sniffing Fa-sud worriedly. "and a queen what was her name . . . oh, yeah, Crow or something like that. They left and never came back. I must admit I liked her " He received a glare from Kokie. "a little. We all did. We were all so disappointed when she never came back. She had promised to, and she didn't seem like the kind of girl who would go promising things to people and then going back on her word. We thought she was dead. So, you can imagine that news about her would shock her a lot. Qa-ja-ci told me he wondered and I did too what was so special about her that a I mean two kisses would make Menon's curse, um, go poof?"

"Well," Kokie started, interceding the question, "it really doesn't matter who he kisses to abolish the curse he has had since he was a couple days old, but with the frog part, it has to be a sleeping servant."

"That's right. And she isn't too far off from here. Not a long walk- hop, really." Egnaro stole a glimpse at Fa-sud and Qa-ja-ci. "Do you think they would mind being left behind?"

"Well, I don't think so. . ." said Wa-kod-if.

"Good! Let's go!" Yhpar and Eg walked side by side, and so did Kokie and Wa-kod-if. Menon hopped along by himself, thinking_, I wonder if she is really kind and gentle and sweet. She does not have to be beautiful, but it would be nice if she is not ugly. After all, this is the girl I'm going to marry, or at least we'll be in love with each other but, the blessing says that I can love her and she can love me so that must apply to this current situation otherwise both curses couldn't end, just me, a frog, part. So, she must be pretty much a perfect women in my eyes so, I do not even know why I am worrying at all._

Yhpar looked around. It was a little clearing, with a large pile of leaves under one tree. "Guys!" she yelled, excitedly. "I found it!" Egnaro and Menon came, but Kokie and Wa-kod-if did not even hear her. For they were too – ahem "involved" – ahem to notice. So, the frog prince and the fairies stood in the clearing.

"Uh," mumbled Menon, "where is this Mara person?"

"Mera," corrected Eg, automatically. "She should be somewhere around here. . .probably under this pile of leaves. . ."

_Five years, _thought Eg, brushing some leaves aside, _I wonder if she looks the same. . ._

_Five years, _thought Yhpar, searching behind a big bush, _I wonder if she is still alive. . ._

_Five years, _thought Menon, hopping around aimlessly, watching the fairies look, _I wonder if she has any moss on her. I hope there is none on the lips. Ew, ew, ew. . . _

Then, Eg saw a bare foot. A very dirty bare foot. "Um. . .Yhpar? Menon? I uh c'mere." Menon hopped over and Yhpar walked over to her. "Guys, do you see that?"

"That foot?" asked Yhpar. "Do **you** see it?"

Eg nodded. Menon did, too. "Do you think it's. . .her?"

"There's only one way to find out." Eg and Yhpar both started digging. Menon did not, since frogs cannot dig. Pretty soon there was a leg, a shoed foot, the other leg, a hand, an arm, a face, and there Mera was, lying down on a **slightly** large pile of leaves (after all, they had dug up a lot of them).

Eg looked at her thoughtfully. _Well, her hair is longer, and well, she's **very** dirty. _Remember that you don't age when you are asleep under a spell, your hair just grows.

Yhpar stared, more or less. _Um, she **might** be alive. . ._

Menon took it all in, from her hair to her toes. _No moss. _He declared to himself happily. And upon closer inspection, _she isn't ugly at all. Well, as pretty as you can be after sitting under a large pile of leaves for five years._ She had a lot of dirt on her face, _which doesn't exactly bring out your best features. . . _

"C'mon, now, Menon. You've got to kiss her!" Yhpar said, picking the frog up and placing him on Mera's chest.

Menon took a deep breath. _Well, here goes all the curses I've ever had, and here comes true love's first kiss. Please work, please work, please, please, please, please, please, please, **please **work!_

Menon looked at the face of his. . .uh, never mind. He look at the face of Mera and thought, _I wonder what color eyes she has. Maybe there blue like mine. Maybe  
_

"Well," said Egnaro rather impatiently. "Let's go! If you're going to kiss her, kiss her all ready!"

_Oh, Menon, you big baby, just do it. Close your eyes and do it. _Menon gingerly hopped a little closer to her face. _Well, here goes. . . _He closed his eyes. . .

* * *

_What's going on? _Thought Mera as her prince said good-bye and galloped away. _My horse, where's my horse? Come back! Come back! Come back!_

Then, suddenly, she awoke to see a frog, who was **glowing** on her chest, quickly hop off her. "Sorry about that," he said. _That voice, I recognize that voice._

_Brown eyes _was the last thing Menon thought as a frog. He was growing hands and feet. He suddenly remembered Kokie and said loudly, as he morphed back to a human, "Get some clothes!" Yhpar snapped, and a velvet pair of pants and a lace covered-shirt appeared on him.

Mera looked at the frog, who was now a tall human with unkempt brown hair and blue eyes. . ._blue eyes the color of the sky right before rain clouds swarm and a storm starts brewing! Oh, it's my prince! My prince! Oh, he's a real person! _ Mera was frankly shocked at the sight of him.

"Hello," her prince said. "Uh, I'm not sure how to tell you but, I need to, uh " _Oh, I cannot wait to see her cleaned off. And in a pretty dress, too. Wow! _"Well, I'm "

"He's going to kiss you, darling." Yhpar said.

Mera was going to say, "Why?" and "Oh, you're here!" and "Okay." But all that came out was "oh!" before Menon stepped forward and kissed her **again**. And she didn't let him stop for quite a while.

As this was happening, Eg sighed blissfully. But Yhpar cried, "Why, where's Wa-kod-if and Kokie?"

"Oh, we're right here." Kokie said, both of them coming from the forest. "And Wa-kod-if has asked if he can court me."a dazzling smile at him "And I said yes." Then, Kokie saw Menon and Mera (who had stopped kissing but now were gazing into each other's eyes.) "Egad! Who are they?"

"Menon and Mera." Said Eg.

"Well, well, well," Kokie smiled. "Looks like everyone's got a happily ever after planned."

_Blue eyes. _Thought Mera. _I never thought blue eyes could be so splendid. . ._

"Mera, I'm Menon, and I hope you didn't mind me being so abrupt, but now I am free from a lot of curses I had, and you probably ought to know, I'm a prince and we were destined to be in love, another blessing/curse or whatever from my childhood, so we'll always be happy, and now I suppose that we will get married, because I like you a lot, but of course if you don't want to "

"Oh, no, I was hoping you would ask, because I've had dreams about you, so I feel like I know you, and I like you a lot, too, and since we're engaged, don't you think we should celebrate?"

"Well, yes, I suppose. . ."

"With kisses as presents?"

The presents were exchanged and it turns out there were quite a few of them. (A note from the author: This went on for quite a while and I have not the stomach to write it all down. I hope that you romantic nuts are somewhat fulfilled, but if you want a proper romance, go read Jane Austen's books, not mine. What do you expect from a thirteen-year-old? Romeo and Juliet? Onto parts of stories that don't give me headaches.)

"Well, if we're going to have an eternity to be happy together," said Mera. "we might as well discover things about each other. Do you like pets?"

"Yes."

"Pear-cake?"

"Yes."

"Kids?"

"Yes."

"Are you a morning person?"

"No."

"Me neither. Do you like to swim?"

"Yes. Now, my turn. Do you like pork and gravy?"

"Yes."

"Books?"

"Yes."

"Riding horses and unicorns?"

"Yes, yes."

"Taking long walks on the beach?"

"Yes!"

"Well. I guess we **are** perfect for each other," Menon said and he smiled. So did Mera.

Awwwwww. . .they're so cute.

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	7. Happy Endings

Thanks to. . .

rainkisser – Hey, I was only 13 and kind of thought boys had cooties. I was still funny, which was nice. (grabs chocolate chip bagel smothered in butter and cream cheese) Yum. Thanks, Mia. Here, have an onion bagel. Have two! My mom just bought, like, 75 bagels. I have more than enough.

Miss Piratess – I can do cute. I do cute very well. Probably because you can't see me. (laughs) That's me, the anti-romantic! Except, not anymore.

Sirenic Griffin – Boo, computers. Frigid extremely cold. Except, it isn't anymore. I'm wearing short sleeves! (does happy little short sleeves dance) Yum, a cookie. Yes, bagels are VERY good. Here, have one and see for yourself! I hope the internet doesn't make it stale. No, not the end!

Aerinha – Unfortunately, most crushes are more futile than what the literary world would have us believe.

Tiger Lily21 – Well, I was only thirteen. Now I'm – older. (coughs) Nope, it's not over YET.

mythicalmemory – Yes, spring break does that kind of thing to me, too.

WARNING: This is more of a little tack-on, not really a chapter. But, guaranteed to make you go, "Aw!" And maybe, laugh a little.

Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: Happy Endings

Mera looked at Menon. "I think I should go to see my family. It's been five years. They probably think I'm dead! I want to go tell them I'm okay. And they need to meet you!"

Toli and Koplu had had two children, Mitza and Khela. Shana had married Gossai. Ruza was betrothed to Sir Bythe. They hadn't really forgotten Mera, but when someone is missing for five years, you guess that they're dead. Doc was not any different, but I find that fathers never really change.

Mera looked worried. "I couldn't find my way back home before." She turned to Yhpar. "Will you help me?"

"Sure!" cried Yhpar. "Follow me everyone!" Yhpar walked into the dense forest, with all of them at her heels except Wa-kod-if and Kokie, who had gone back 'home' to tell Fa-sud the wonderful news about Mera and Menon (and themselves).

In the town of Stoke-Smack, er, **Smoke-Stack**, Ruza was sitting on her bed, reading her book. Doc was treating a lady, who has absolutely nothing to do with this story except that Doc was treating her, who had fallen off her horse and broke her leg. Quite suddenly, there was a loud BANG! Ruza placed her spot and, telling her father she would go see 'what the matter is,' went outside.

There was nothing unusual, except that the barn door was open. It was a rather blustery day, so Ruza wasn't too alarmed. She walked to the big red building and was about to shut the monstrously cumbersome door when she saw, or at least **thought** she saw, people in the barn! She took another look and there were indeed people there. She stepped into the barn to tell them off, thinking they were drifters (that had happened before). She was shocked when the girl, who had been petting Pine, ran up to her and hugged her.

"Um," started Ruza.

"Ruza! It's me! Mera!" the girl said.

"Wh-wh-what!" cried Ruza.

"It's true! I was under a spell for the last five years. Here, come here, meet my friends. Menon, this is Ruza. Eg, Yhpar, this is my younger sister."

"Hi," greeted Ruza warmly. "Oh, I can't believe you're home! Come on inside, tell Doc!" Ruza grabbed her hand and pulled her from the big barn to the cottage beside it.

Menon and the fairies followed close behind the two sisters. By the time Eg got in the small house (she was the last in), Doc and Mera were hugging hard. Doc sat down and let Mera tell him the whole story (with Eg, Yhpar and Menon telling parts, too). The lady who broke her leg was listening, too. Doc liked Menon a lot and said he would be proud to have him as a son-in-law. He took them to Toli and Shana, who were as happy as he was. Mera saw Hoyv, her best friend, who was elated to see her. Then, after a month there, they told them all they had to be on their way to find Menon's family. They were all sad to see Mera and Menon go, but they promised to write.

"Did I ever tell you I owned a flying dragon?" Menon queried.

"No! Are we going to ride him to Goho?" Mera said.

"Yeah, I think it's a good idea. Goho is very far away," Menon took a small silver whistle out of his pocket and played three short notes and a long note followed by two high short notes. A huge, green dragon flew down right before them. "Azy, this is Mera."

"Hello," Azy said politely. "Going for a ride home, I suppose?" He said, letting them onto his back. "Hold on!"

Flying on a dragon is really a very splendid thing. It's really too bad they're extinct. Once they got there, they thanked Azy and walked into a huge gray and gold castle. Menon chuckled. Mera looked at him strangely and said:

"Why are you laughing? Is there something so amusing to you about returning home?"

"Oh, nothing really, I was just thinking about what my parents will say."

"Won't they be very glad to see you?"

"They never liked me very much; I was the oldest of nine and I had 'failed' them by running away. I doubt they even remember me!"

"Oh, no, this cannot be! All parents are so pleased with their children that it's almost silly! No, no, you are mistaken; they will have to be very glad."

Menon shrugged and said, "I suppose, only you do not know my parents, and I stand firm on the fact that they have quite forgotten all about me!"

"We shall see," said Mera, as the herald opened the large church-like doors, revealing a big hall with at least 1,000 candles on the walls.

"This way," pointed the herald. Mera and Menon walked into an absolutely huge throne room. The herald inspected the duo. "And how shall I announce you?"

"P-p-prince Me-menon and -uh- Mera," stuttered Menon.

"Prince?" asked the herald, disinterestedly. "Prince of what?"

"Uh, Goho, I mean, I'm their son, their oldest son."

"Are you now. Well, Prince Menon of Goho and Mara!" the herald cried.

"If you please, sir, Mera, not Mara, sir," said Mera. The herald shut the throne room door without a word. "Oh, never mind!"

King Tusury and Queen Zemare sat on their thrones looking regal and royal. "Dear, what's the boy's name?" asked the king.

"Neon, darling. And the lady's name's Mary."

"Neon and Mary? What's he prince of?"

"Go-oh."

"Well, they must've traveled a long time because " Tusury was interrupted by Menon.

"Uh, hello, I – well, I am your – ah – son, um, and, um, this is my – um, uh – fiancée – ah – Mera, not Mary, and, um, ah, well. . ."

The king bellowed, "Speak up now! I cannot hear a word!"

"I'm your son!" screamed Menon, at the top of his lungs.

"No, no, no, that cannot be true, look here, firstly, contractions are very non-royal and persons of royal blood never, ever, scream at the top of their lungs. Besides, we do not HAVE a son named Neon," Zemare said. "Now, Neon, kindly leave, and take Mary with you."

"But – but –" stammered Mera. "But, he is your son! He is! And he's name is NOT Neon, it's Menon! I can't believe you – he is your son!"

Menon took Mera's elbow. "Some things aren't meant to be," he whispered in her ear. "Let's go, I don't mind, really, Mera, we're much happier without them. . ." But a far off look came into his eyes. "They never cared, why should I? But I do." Then, the look left and he said, "No. I'm not a child. Let's go, Mera." He reached out his hand.

Mera looked at the king and queen with tears in her eyes. "It's not fair that you should have such parents, it's not fair. . ." she drifted off, but eventually took Menon's hand and together, they walked out of the grandiloquent throne room.

Now, you may want Tusury, or maybe Zemare, to shout out, "Wait, we love you!" or words to that effect. But, I can only repeat Menon: Some things aren't meant to be. And that is the end of that.

Menon and Mera were married in Smoke-Stack and lived there and had their family there until ten years later, when Tusury and Zemare both died, and they moved to Goho and King Menon and Queen Mera took the throne.

And, to the best of my knowledge, all their endings were happy ones.

Yay. The end. Actually, it's kind of sad. . .I'll miss you! (wipes away tear)

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